© 6/96
LOGBOOK OF THE CAPTAIN ....<uuuhhhmmm>.... OF THE CAPTAIN IN CHARGE, COMMANDER RIKER
Captain Picard is still unconscious in Bell's grasp. Beverly is looking after him, but it seems like this doesn't please the Arkonide. The Enterprise has followed the GOOD HOPE through the HOLE, to pursue 5 BORG ships.
Once again the crew of the Enterprise has boldly gone, to regions of the universe where nobody on our side of the series has been before....
10 FOWARD
Guinan: Data, you really don't want anything to drink?
Data: No, thank you.
Guinan: Data, this here is a bar.
Data: OK, OK, I'll have a schnapps.
Guinan: Like always?
Data: Gear-oil on the rocks, shaken, not stirred.
Guinan: You haven't had such a hard drink for a long time. Is something wrong?
Data: Oh, it's nothing.
Guinan: Come on Data, you can tell me about it.
Data: You know, I've been in two universes, but I still haven't found a partner who suits me...
Guinan: Oh, that's it! You're lovesick!
Data: I don't feel emotions. I'm an android. BUT I FEEL SO SAD!!!
Guinan: So what's the problem? You are such a nice Robbi Robot.
Data: Yes, first I thought the syntronic on the GOOD HOPE would be rather pretty, but it was already engaged to a certain Hamiller-Tube.
Guinan: Oh, I'm so sorry. And what's with the androids from the other side?
Data: In the corridor, I spoke with a Thara V. He wanted to introduce me to his sister, but nothing became of it.
Guinan: Why not?
Data: Compatibility.
Guinan: What?
Data: You know, wrong interface.
Guinan: Data! Make it simple, I don't understand a lot of science.
Data: Damn! My plug didn't fit.
Guinan smiling, now she understood: You know what I used to do when something like that happened?
Data: What?
Guinan: I'd go to the holodeck and do some wood chopping. Search for the program: African in the Veldt, you'll like it.
Data smiles again: OK Guinan, I'll try it.
ON THE BRIDGE....
Riker: Mr. Worf!
Worf: Sir?
Riker: Are the BORG still in front of us?
Worf: Yes sir, we are slowly catching up. The GOOD HOPE II is still beside us. Will leaned comfortably in Jean-Luc's seat and enjoyed for a few seconds the feeling of being number 1+.
Riker: Really comfortable, the captain's seat! Does anyone know what this button is for?
Worf: I have no idea, sir. It can't be the trigger for the phasers, because that one is on my console.
Wesley: I guess this button disconnects the impulse-stream from the machines to push off the warp-core in case of emergency.
Troy: Nonsense! If enemies are about to take control of the Enterprise the captain starts the self-destruction sequence with this button. But why are you so pale, Will? Riker raised his finger and showed it around: Because I just pushed it.
For a short moment a cold silence spread on the bridge.
Troy: You have just...
Wesley: Mummy! I'm much to young to die!
Worf: If Tasha could see this!
Bell (Spock): I think this is the end of all logic.
Riker sat down emphatically and took Diana's hand while Worf struck up a Klingon deathsong.
Riker: Now, because the end is so near, I have to tell you ...
Troy: Yes, Will?
Suddenly the door of the turbo-elevator opened and a young cadet rushed in. Pizza with anchovies and cheese for Captain Picard!! This time it took only two minutes since you called us!
Riker looked reproachfully at Wesley: Push off the warp-core, huh?
ON THE GOOD HOPE II.....IN ATLAN'S CABIN
Spock (Bell): Oooch ! Damned! I've cut myself.
Atlan: Jesus, Bell, you never were able to handle the -T'ack Ao'i-.
Atlan's extra brain: You even don't know yourself how to handle it.
Spock (Bell): Every time we eat with you, we have to eat with this
Arkonidian ceremony-cutlery! My finger!
Atlan: Barbarian! This is old Arkonidian splendor-cutlery!
Spock (Bell): But it's certainly not a strong washing machine.
Perry: Show me your finger. That's only a little scratch. Suck it off. Spock (Bell): But the blood is green! There's something wrong! I don't want to swallow this!
Perry: Perhaps it tastes like Vurguzz.
Atlan: I think Jean-Luc told me that Vulcans have green blood by nature. Atlan's extra brain: Yes, and you are still a bit green behind your ears, crystal-prince.
Spock (Bell) By nature? I'm so relieved! I thought the green blood came from the Zalitian pig-oysters that Atlan dished up for us.
Perry stared at his plate: What have I been eating?
Atlan: They're absolutely fresh!
Spock (Bell): But they create flatulence in Vulcans.
Atlan: Don't say such nonsense!
Spock (Bell): Giggle ... you'll see.
Atlan's extra brain: A fantastic dinner. You have outdone yourself once again.
Tolot: Bell, I envy you for the experience you are having.
Spock (Bell): You mean the flatulence?
Tolot: No, I mean the exchange of your body. Who else had the pleasure of trying out another body?
Perry: I had the pleasure.
Atlan: Yes, but you had to send your brain on a trip.
Perry: One moment ...
Atlan's extra brain: And sometimes I have also the feeling that when I was born, I received the wrong body ...
ON THE ENTERPRISE....SICKBAY...
Beverly looked down on Picard, at her wits end. She tried all her little, shining, flashing, whirring gadgets, but without any success.
She put here hand tenderly on Picard's high forehead: Oh Jean-Luc, if
I only knew more about medicine so I could wake you up. When we went through Vulcan neck-pinches at the academy I was always out drinking coffee with the other young students. I'm so sorry if I made you jealous of the prince from Arkon.
But what should I do, he's a total hunk. He has wide shoulders, he's tall, muscular, a fit body, noble blood, full, long hair........
Suddenly Picard opened his eyes.
Picard: Full Hair !?
Beverly: Captain! You're awake!
Picard: <Ahh>..Dr. Crusher.....Beverly! Where am I?
Beverly: You're on the sickbay, Captain. It's fascinating.
I spoke to them and any some of my words must have gotten through to their subconscious and woken them from their comas .....
Picard: That's good! Who is on the bridge?
Beverly: Commander Riker is in charge.
Picard: Holy Klingon hieroglyphics! Quickly, I've got to get to
the bridge before a disaster happens.
Beverly: First Auntie Doctor has to do a personal checkup...
Slowly Beverly stripped off her gloves and put her hands on Jean-Luc's chest.
Picard: Is this really necessary?
Beverly: Absolutely.
Picard wrinkled his brow and closed his eyes: Very well, then. Make it so!
ON THE GOOD HOPE II. ...
Perry: So we will never catch up to the BORG.
Spock (Bell): They are traveling at Warp 9.9.
Atlan: What is that in Over light factors?
Tolot: I believed Warp 10 could never be reached, but they fly...
Atlan: Damned fast?
Tolot: Exactly!
Perry looked with gleaming eyes at the screen.
Perry: Over there is our friend Pucky. My God, what will the BORG do
to him...
ON THE FLAGSHIP OF THE BORG...
PUCKUTUS: NO! NO! AND ONCE MORE NO! HOW OFTEN DO I NEED TO SAY IT, I DO NOT WANT ANY HAIR-REMOVAL CREME!
Borg1: But then it will not itch so much under the implants.
PUCKUTUS: Whoever messes with my fur will go flying!
Borg1: But I only wanted to make it more pleasant for you.
PUCKUTUS: A hairless Ilt! Pah!
Borg2: PUCKUTUS, we are still being pursued.
PUCKUTUS: They will never catch us.
Borg1: If we make it to the Terranian Home System, we will
profit from the great tactical abilities of our leader. Inform us of your plan, mighty PUCKUTUS.
PUCKUTUS: Ahh... yes. We fly in quickly, clear the carrot fields and disappear again.
Borg2: And all the machines?
PUCKUTUS: Right! We take along the vegetable juicers. The 5 BORG ships formed a V formation and headed purposefully for the SOL system.
CAPTAINS LOG....
Beverly has roused me from my comatose state with shock therapy.
On the way to the bridge I met Geordie, who was running through the ship with a fat press... remarkable.
I will release Riker posthaste from his duties. From the relieved faces of my team I can tell that they are grateful for my revival. I will make a note in the logbook...
Bell (Spock): Captain on the bridge!
Troy: Captain! I'm so glad to see you!
Picard: I was in good hands, Councilor. Dr. Crusher understands her craft well. Data: I can confirm that, Sir! The last time she purified time my positronic relays last with her hand - vacuum cleaner, I actually felt for the first time...
Worf: I didn't know that positronics could feel...
Picard: Well, Mr. Worf! Number 1?
Riker: Yes, Captain?
Picard: I'm resuming command of the bridge. Let me have my seat back.
Riker: Really?
Picard: At once!
Troy: Thank God! He is his old self again!
Bell (Spock): Captain, we are on a direct flight path to Earth.
The Borg ships are in front of us.
Wesley: The distance to the 5 BORG is unchanged. Whenever we give gas, they give also gas.
Picard: ...Gas?
Wesley: I wanted to make a joke, Captain.
Bell (Spock): It is likely that the Borg ships will reach Earth before us.
Picard: Mr. Worf, contact the GOOD HOPE II!
The screen lit up quickly and showed the Terran Fleet symbol.
A voice proclaimed something in Interkosmo.
Picard: Mr. Data! I do not understand that. Translate it.
Data: OK, Sir. It says: ALL LINES ARE BUSY. PLEASE TRY YOUR CALL AGAIN LATER...
Picard: ...please?
Suddenly, a tumult emerged at the entrance of the Turbolift.
"Let me go! Hands off! "
Two men of Worf's Security Team brought a very old man onto the bridge.
Picard: What's going on? Mr. Worf?
Worf: Sir, We have a stowaway on board! He must have beamed in along with the Vulcan Ambassador and has hidden in his cabin.
Bell (Spock): I told you to stay in the cabin unless you were with me!
The old one looked irritatedly at Bell (Spock): Since when are you in charge, Beefy?
Picard: Who is that?
Riker, stroking his beard: Captain, I believe I know who that is.
Picard: Number one?
Riker: Dr. McCoy!
Picard: Dr. McCoy? .... The doctor of the original Enterprise...
Data: That is correct, Captain.
Picard to the Guards: Let him go! Dr. McCoy, can you explain what you are doing here?
McCoy: Fhhille!
Picard: Say again?
McCoy reached into this Uniform pocket, took out a set of dentures and put them in.
Pill: Thhoo, that feels much better. I must pay attention to my teeth.
Picard: .... on his. ...
Pill: You can call me "Pill," Captain. I am just accompanying Spock on his trip. While he was visiting me in the
retirement home, he suddenly got another distant Vulcan look. I came with him, since I do not belong with those walking cadavers. Which way to Sick Bay?
Picard: Hold on! We already have a doctor! We are very happy with Dr. Crusher!
Pill: A MRS.! ?
McCoy clung to Worf's arm and put on some ancient glasses:
Pill: Thank you young man. ... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! A Klingon! RED ALERT!
Worf to Picard: Perhaps we should give him to Perry.
Bell (Spock) lifting an eyebrow: Give him away? =20
Pill: Hey Chunky. You speak like these green-blooded, pointy eared...
Bell (Spock): That remark about the pointy ears I will take as a compliment.
ON THE GOOD HOPE II...
Perry: Bell, take your fingers out of your ears!
Spock (Bell): Ahhh damnit, they really itch!
Atlan: Itch? They are only formed differently, nothing else!
Spock (Bell): Yes, well, the shower always leaves water in...
Tolot's laugh shattered some glasses.
Tolot: Perhaps Vulkans never shower.
Another Halatian laugh shook the Command central of the GOOD HOPE II.
Spock (Bell): You certainly find that funny for an entity with no ears!
And how do the Halatians keep clean? I bet you harden your body and blast off the dirt!
In a moment Icho's laughter ended and he started growling.
Perry: Well, well! Can we now pay attention to the BORG?
Atlan: You are right. We must consider how to get Pucky out there and prevent the BORG from attacking the earth. Atlans extra brain: Well clever one, have you already figured out the most important thing?=20 Perry: In few hours they will have reached the SOL system. I think we should talk with Jean-Luc before then.
CAPTAIN'S LOG..
We have reached the Sol system and the BORG have stopped, as expected, outside the orbit of the outermost planet. It is fascinating to see this replica of our own solar system, with one exception: Pluto is destroyed. Perry has mobilized the Terran home fleet, which has covered their position already. My God, they have 80,000 ships!
I was accustomed to having the Enterprise be the only ship in the sector during emergencies.
IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM OF THE ENTERPRISE...
Perry: First, we are glad that you are well again, Jean-Luc.
Picard winked to Beverly: Due to the curing hands of my doctor.
Atlan jealously: ... Due to the curing...
Beverly: The Captain has healed remarkably under my treatment.
Atlan's extra brain: (sigh) me too...
Pill: Hell, I could have done it, too! A bucket of cold water...
Beverly: Old fella, you couldn't even lift a bucket.
Spock (Bell): Who is that?
Pill: Whenever we meet other people, you act as if we don't even know each other! You green blooded Vulcan...
Bell (Spock): That is Dr. McCoy, doctor of the old Enterprise.
He is a guest on board and an interested observer. He is somewhat confused because of the mind switch.
Spock (Bell): Who isn't?
McCoy approached Bell (Spock) and knocked on his temple.
Pill: Are you in there, old friend?
Bell (Spock): Yes I am.
Picard: Now, back to the Borgs. You will come up with a strategy and then go on. I know that. Still, I have no proposals on what we should do now. Any suggestions? Number 1?
Riker: We could assemble a landing party, beam over and free Pucky Picard: Too risky. You have already tried this before and failed. Atlan?
Atlan to his extra brain: What do you think? Tell me! Quickly!
Atlan's extra brain: I know something that you don't...
Atlan: We will discuss that later... grrr
Picard: Mmmh, Mr. Data?
Data: Yes, Sir. We could camouflage you as LOCUTUS, beam you over and confuse the BORG. In the emerging confusion a second team could free Pucky.
Perry: That is a great idea!
Picard: Well, should I really do this? And Pucky ?
He is now a BORG. He thinks like a BORG and acts like a BORG.
It will not be easy.
Perry: We will take along Bell. As his confidant he may be able to get through to the genuine Pucky .
Troy: But Bell looks like Spock!
Data: The situation is complicated.
Picard: I do not want to go over there.
Beverly: Be brave, Jean-Luc. I will wait for you.
Atlan: But I won't!
Pill: And since we are already here, can we take along a couple of Humpback whales?
All were silent and looked at Pill astonished
Perry: .... Humpback whales?
Suddenly Picard's communicator beeped.
Wesley: Bridge to Captain!
Picard: What's up, Wesley? I told you thousand times, when adults are
talking...
Wesley: Hyper radio transmission over the relay chain of the Hundred-Sun-World's Central Plasma to Perry Rhodan.
Picard: On the Trivideocube!
Central Plasma: GREETINGS!
Perry: Hello old friend! What's so urgent?
Central Plasma: My Posbis, which I have stationed before the HOLE tell me that the opening on the other side of the universe is becoming unstable. It is starting to flicker.
Picard pale: My God, we must hurry!
SOMEWHERE, ON THE FLAGSHIP OF THE BORG
A soft sound, bodies materializing...
Perry, Atlan, Riker, Worf and Data have materialized somewhere on the Borg-flagship.
Perry: Ah! This beaming is almost like a Teleport jump, only more pleasant. And somewhat more softly to Atlan: We should consider whether or not to make off with this technology. As we have done before, OK?
Atlan: Barbarian!
Riker: Mr. Worf! Tricorder!
Perry: Nintendo! Right?
Worf: Sorry, Sir?
Atlan felt around his body ... "Everything still there?"
Atlan's extra brain: Yes, unfortunately. Sometimes I wish that during a teleport jump that I would be separated from you and appear in another place, for example in Alaska's face. There is space available now. Atlan to his extra brain: But he would have to wear his mask again, because at the sight of you people would die of laughter instead of insanity.
Besides Alaska could revive his Mike Meyers club, as chairman!
Atlan's right hand suddenly moved independently and struck his right cheek.
Atlan's extra brain: That is for the impertinence, Terran-Hunter!
Riker to Atlan: Is everything all right, Sir?
Atlan staring dumbfounded at his hand: Ahh. .. yes, Number1. The Borg must somehow have affected the nerves of my arm...
Atlan's extra brain: Liar! Shall I "affect" the other arm?
Atlan loudly: I GIVE UP!
Worf to Riker: Sir, is there a problem?
Data smiling: Never get a Klingon telling jokes. ...
Perry: Is Mr. Worf getting started? Let us pray that he does not delight us with a farce from his youth.
Data: ... a farce? Ah, that is a play with a humoristic facet!
Atlan leaned on the wall with his left arm and touched something soft.
Atlan: Ahhhhhh! These things are standing everywhere in the walls!
Zombies! Data: Those are BORG. They are just surfing the network.
Worf: From our experience we have nothing to fear from them.
They are part of a gestalt and only stand there. They do not notice us at all.
Perry to Riker: You know, it does not look much different from a Posbi-Fragment ship. This place is not so strange to me.
Riker: Sir?
Atlan: And this reminds me somewhat of the interior of the large Cheops pyramid.
Perry: Huh?
Atlan: Well, these doorways, these labyrinthine structures.
Data: You know the Egyptian pyramids?
Atlan: Well, I designed and built them ...aah... let them be built... Atlan's extra brain: I have DESIGNED them, and you TOLD the Egyptians to build them...!
Data: Fascinating.
Riker typed on his communicator: Captain, everything's clear with the landing party. You can follow now. Mr. Worf, Mr. Data, for the security of the Captain, Phasers on stun!
Riker nodded provocatively to Perry and Atlan.
Perry grinned: Mr. Gonozal, Disintegrator on disintegrate! Atlan pulled his Hand blaster: And Thermoblasters on roast? Medium?
Perry: No!!!
Worf expelled an easy growl.
Once again there was a remarkably high noise, then two flurrying specters appeared momentarily, then Picard and Spock
(Bell) sat down at the same time. Picard, now camouflaged as LOCUTUS, started moving in the old Break-dance manner:
Well, how do I look?
Riker looked up: Captain! It's amazing!
Data: The illusion is perfect.
While Picard posed before the astonished Riker, Worf started a Klingon battle song.
Spock (Bell) softly to Perry and Atlan: Hey, what do you think about this?
Jean Luc slips into a dress, and the Klingon sings a hit song from his youth. Am I in the wrong film?
Perry made a soothing gesture: This is the way that, these Trekkers act. These are their customs.
Picard: I feel great... I could just...
Riker: Captain? !!!
Picard: HA! Did I frighten you? Don't worry, I am still the Captain.
Perry: Since we are now ready, can we go on?
Picard: Oh! Certainly! I haven't been on a landing party for a long time, forgive me. Who takes over as leader?
Riker: Isn't that my job, Captain?
Picard: Data, is there a conflict with the prime directive here?
Data pointed with his thumb over the shoulder to Perry: Well, he is still a Knight of the deep, as is Atlan. You are the Captain and Riker is only...
Picard: Well, let's do it as a team. Agreed?
Perry grinned: Agreed!
ON BOARD THE ENTERPRISE...
Ronald Tekener, Dao-Lin-H'ay and Michael Rhodan stood on the bridge of the Enterprise. They had come along with the Terran Home fleet and got on board the Enterprise to meet Perry and Atlan.
Marveling, the newcomers looked around on the bridge of the Galaxy-class ship.
Likewise marveling they were examined by the crew of the Enterprise.
Admiral McCoy went directly to Tekener.
Pill: Young man, you should really do something. The Smiler showed his famous teeth and immediately 3 female crew members fainted.
Wesley: Second shift to the bridge!
Tekener: What do you mean, Admiral?
Pill: Well, your pimples!
The old admiral M.D. reached into a small, black leather bag: Here, take that!
Tekener read the inscription: Clearasil?
Pill: Yes, some things are just timeless...
Dao hissed: That's smallpox, not pimples!
Tekener: Only the scars of smallpox, love. I'm already cured, my kitten.
Dao drew in his claws again: But if you offend my mouse. ...
Bell (Spock) lifted up an eyebrow: MOUSE?
Dao: Mouse!
Bell (Spock): Fascinating!
Michael walked towards Bell (Spock): And you have quasi taken over my godfather?
Bell (Spock): That is not correct. I wanted to explore Bell's mind with an old Vulcan machine and ventured out into a large void.
Dao hissed: LARGE VOID??!!
Bell (Spock) continued: Like in an abyss without banisters I lost hold and found myself in this vacuum. Simultaneously I displaced Bells consciousness, which saved itself in my body. Otherwise it would have been lost in hyperspace.
Tekener: Poor Hyperspace... But at least there is a clear explanation for this phenomenon. The Turboelevator opened and Beverly got in. For a long time and in detail she examined Dao, Tekener, then Michael.
Beverly: Still more from the other series! How many central figures
do you have?
Tekener: Oh, there are still a couple...
Michael: Bon jour, mon cherie.
Beverly: Oh! You speak like the Captain!
Michael winced and his face went red: Oh God, she understands me!
Beverly to Pill: Admiral McCoy! I heard that you caused some trouble in Sick Bay.
Pill: You were not there, but there was an emergency and I am also doctor.
Beverly: But euthanasia, against lumbago?
Pill: It has always been useful the past!
Michael: In the past it has helped against everything... in ancient times.
Bell (Spock): But not Vulcans!
ON THE SHIP OF THE BORG...
Slowly the landing party crept undisturbed through the wide halls of the BORG ship.
Data to Atlan: Is it really true that you have influenced the history of Earth?
Atlan softly to Data: Yes, that is true. For example I was on board the ship with which Christopher Columbus discovered America.
Atlans extra brain: Yes, yes, now this story comes out again. Why do you not tell them that you had to get away from the yachtsman's tax and Christopher was really only on a mission to pick up some pickles from Italy. But with you at the wheel you had to go to America...
Data: Then you have therefore a solid knowledge of the history of Earth?
Atlan: ... ah... yes...?
Data: It has always interested me, perhaps can you answer a question for me.
Atlan: Just ask!
Data: Was there really a Sherlock Holmes?
Atlan: You are about to be pleasantly surprised, Data. You are standing in front of him. I took this role to teach the Terran barbarians a little logical thinking.
Data: Even before the Vulkans! That is wonderful! We must talk about some of your cases!
Atlans extra brain: Do not exaggerate! YOU were always Watson and I was Sherlock!
A warning cry from Perry interrupted Atlan's conversation.
Suddenly the landing party was surrounded by a band of BORG and before them appeared out of nothing PUCKUTUS BORG.
PUCKUTUS: Welcome on board, my friends...
CAPTAIN'S LOG...
I am onboard the Borg-flagship. I feel old memories coming up, and not all are bad... ... we also had a lot of fun together... We are just waiting for something to happen. The Borg have encircled us. We had no possibility of escaping. Perry and Atlan dropped their blasters. They knew that a fight would be fatal for the landing party. Atlan and Perry were of course not worried about the phaser fire, but they did not want to endanger the life of the Trekkies. The former First Administrator was confident. He relied on the experience of Picard and the officers of the Enterprise...
Picard: Ahhhm... Mr. Riker, any suggestions on what we should do now?
Perry looked at Atlan
Riker: Beam back?
Atlan's extra brain: Remarkable strategy! Could have done it in my sleep,
Crystal candlestick!
Atlan to the extra brain: Crystal Prince!
Atlan's extra brain: OK, royal crystal candlestick!
Picard: Mr. Worf?
Worf hummed an old Klingon funeral dirge: Let us die like warriors,
my captain!
Picard: Ahhh, yes... well, Mr. Worf... Perry, Atlan?
Perry: DAMN! I knew he would ask us...
Bell (Spock): Sir, I understand from the rudimentary fragments of Bell's conscious that you have very often been in hopeless situations, too.
Perry: Ahh, yes... now... but we had always a Halatian to aid us...
What about you, Atlan?
The Arkonide listened shortly to his inner voice...
Atlan: ...Mirona?
Perry: NO! Not that!
Atlan: Sorry! But I just cannot forget this cycle...
Perry shrugged his shoulders: Who can't! We are relying on you Captain, rather on your Borg-experience...
Picard: Mr. Data?
All looked at the Android.
Data: Captain! You could confuse them now by playing LOCUTUS, their former leader! Perhaps we could free Pucky in the confusion.
Picard: Ah yes! Very well, Mr. Data!
Picard hemmed and came forward behind Perry and Atlan. A ripple went through the BORG present.
A soft murmur sounded, other BORG agreed softly: LOCUTUS! LOCUTUS!
In the whole BORG flagship, from each angle resounded the choir, which reminded Atlan of the love songs of Tibetan monks...
Atlan looked around with large eyes marveling: What a network, do you agree? Atlan's extra brain: The network has something which is missing in you... intelligence...
PUCKUTUS awakened from a dream state. He looked around him.
PUCKUTUS: Holy carrot! I am your master!
Picard contradicted him: No, I am!
PUCKUTUS: No, I!
Picard: I!
The BORG looked back and forth between both adversaries, like spectators at a tennis-match. After a few seconds a twitch went through the BORG, then they became motionless.
Atlan to Perry: Sacred Hay! What's going on now?
Bell (Spock): What kind of metaphor is that!
Atlan: Say again?
Atlan's extra brain: Too high for your intellect, shall I translate...?
Data: I knew it!
Picard looked around, puzzled: WHAT did you know, Mr. Data?
Data: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
Riker: The Borg were so confused that they completely deactivated.
Atlan: Like the Robot-Regent on Arkon III!
Atlan's Extra brain: It was VERY confused indeed! But who is going to switch you off??
Atlan: BE QUIET!!!
The landing party stared at Atlan for a few seconds.
Suddenly a soft groan. The landing party whirled around with cocked phasers.
Perry: Hold on! That is Pucky ! He's waking up!
Pucky : Where, where... Where I am? Why are you pointing those at me?
Picard went to Pucky and put his hands on his shoulders:
Welcome home, Pucky.
Pucky : Ahhhhhh! Who is this person!!?
Picard lost contact with the earth and flew up to the hall's roof.
Picard: Number 1, get me down! Do something!
Riker: Shall I take command, Sir?
Perry: We should not go that far... Pucky , please let Picard down!
Pucky showed his incisor tooth: All right, Perry. I was only a little frightened.
Atlan: I believe the danger is over!
All exhaled furiously...
LOGBOOK ENTRY OF THE CAPTAIN...
Beverly has just finished freeing Pucky from the BORG modules.
The BORG ships have been loaded on gigantic fleet tenders and are being transported to the HOLE. But I can only find 4 - where is the 5th ship?
Perry explained to me, that this would be normal in this series... I
don't know what he meant by this...
BACK ONBOARD THE ENTERPRISE...
Perry: Mike, please order the Home fleet to fly back to base.
Mike: Avec pleasire!
Picard to Perry: From whom has your son learned French so well?
Perry: Well... He always liked small handbags... ... perhaps now you understand...
Picard: Ahhh... Handbags?
Perry: Let us discuss that later....
Picard: WHAT THE ?
On screen the Terran Home fleet formed a big "A" , the symbol of the =46ederation. The officers of the Enterprise were stirred.
Atlan: It was just an idea from me...
Bell (Spock): Fascinating. For a mind, which is not bound by the laws of logic - not bad.
Atlan: Listen, I had heard about logic when the Vulcans were still living in caves and hitting each other with maces and stones!
Perry: Sounds somewhat familiar to me...
Bell (Spock): Then climb the mountain with me and attain perfection!
Atlan: ???
Perry to Bell (Spock): Ahh... I think we should now try to make Bell again Bell, change back your minds. Do you agree?
Spock (Bell): You are right! With these ears I cannot let myself be seen on Terra except on Halloween...
Bell (Spock) raised his right eyebrow: And with this body I will remain on Vulcan always a single...
Pill, with a scalpel in his hands: Just a suggestion!
I'll cut the brain out of this body and transplant it in the other.
But I will need the assistance of this... doctor...
Bell (Spock): I do not believe that in the long run this human brain can be the vessel of my spirit...
Wesley: We could divert the energy stream from the GOOD HOPE II's paratronic converters to the dilithium chamber of the ENTERPRISE, while Bell and Spock place themselves around the Warp Core.
Picard: And what will happen to them then?
Wesley: I do not know Sir, I just think we should just try it.
Picard: Mr. Spock, perhaps you can do another mind meld?
Bell (Spock), lifted his right hand: With these fingers? I do not know if this is possible. Nobody has ever tried that before.
Spock (Bell): Ahh, wait a second... What can go wrong in the worst case?
Perry clapped his friend on the shoulder: You will be lost in hyperspace, but I think that will be no problem. WANDERER is there and IT will take you in its collective mentality, I am sure.
Spock (Bell): But is IT here.
Atlan: Well, I do not know... perhaps here and there, watching the beginning and the end of the universe...
Spock (Bell): Well... these ears are not so bad after all... somehow, they're sexy! Perhaps I can pass myself off as a colonial-terran. I could also have lived near an old Terran nuclear power plant.
Picard: Mr. Bell, please do not be a coward! Mr. Spock, begin the mind meld!
It grew quiet on the bridge of the proud Federation ship. All people
present stopped breathing as Bell (Spock) touched with his fingertips the
temple of Spock (Bell) and sank into convulsive trance...
TO MY PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY...
Incredible things are going on in front of me. Spock, in the body of our beefy friend waddles over to Bell, whose spirit is still in the body of the Vulcan.
Spock does not have Bell's ample body completely under control, the way he moves looks more like the attack of a Sumo-wrestler Apropos wrestlers...
That reminds me of the time of the first Olympic games in Athens where I was master in the ring.
I was only able to win there because I could set a Dagor grip...
...... STOP... REWIND.. STOP.. RECORD....
I won, because I had been preparing myself for 1 year with intense training in the High Andes of Peru for this fight.
But that was long, long ago...
On the bridge tense silence ruled.
Picard swabbed his high forehead with a towel while Riker thoughtfully stroked his beard.
Perry stood near Atlan and watched Bell intently. No one spoke a word.
It was so silent that one would have heard a Klingon crochet hook drop.
Bell and Spock sank into a deep trance and stood still.
Jean-Luc and Perry exchanged a significant look. After half an hour without any movement Picard looked at chronometer.
Data: Captain! It is now exactly 32 minutes, 16 seconds and 30 milliseconds that... no... there are 32 minutes, 17 seconds and 43 milliseconds.. no...
Riker: Data! Be quiet!
Atlan's extra brain: ...I...
Atlan to his extra brain: And you, too!
Atlan's extra brain: ....Fool!
Bell and Spock were suddenly wrapped in a bluish lightning. Pale flashes jerked back and forth.
Through Bell and Spock's bodies ran a shudder, then a jerk.
Geordie: Oh, my Visor is overreacting! What's going on?
Wesley: I believe Spock's spirit has telepathically produced a tubular Subspacefield, which serves as a Zerofield for the higher Transients of the Vulcan mind contents and makes it possible for the subordinate Psifactors to move through a Microwormhole.
Perry with open mouth: And everything can move from brain to brain?
Wesley: Yes, Sir.
Picard with an acid smile: Now... Mr. Crusher is of course only a cadet, but he is quite competent Atlan to his extra brain: Just like me! Like me as I hunted my first dinosaur on Arkon II!
Atlan's extra brain: You only dreamt that...
With a sudden jerk the two separated again.
Bell stared with large eyes at his hands and Spock examined his eyebrows.
Perry: Bell?.. Bell?...Beef Boy! SAY SOMETHING!
Bell touched himself on the head: Oh man! Finally in a familiar environment again. I thought my hairdresser would have to cut me a ponytail for the rest of my life...
Spock: And I thought it would be the end of all logic...
Pill hurried to Spock.
Pill: Hey you old, green-blooded scoundrel! How was it? How do you feel?
Spock raised an eyebrow: Fascinating! He pointed to
Bell: This person has all sorts of beer types in his head.
Bell looked up: And this...Vulcan... the first 1000 prime numbers in sequence...
Spock: Who knows when you will need them?
Perry: Now I believe we are all glad, that it has turned out so well and we have our friends again.
Perry and Atlan greeted Bell and Picard put his hands on Spock's shoulders.
Spock: But Captain. ...
With one - Plopp - Pucky materialized on the bridge. Free from all BORG modules, he held the doctor by the hand.
Perry: Pucky ! It's great to see you again!
Pucky, with a short hop to Bell: Hey thick one! I can read from your thoughts you are again the old one. But you should not think that one should copy the Vulcan ears...
Bell: Ahh, I have.....
Perry: Jean-Luc, I believe you should hurry to the HOLE before it closes.
Atlan: We can remain on board the ENTERPRISE up to the HOLE unless someone has a problem with that. Perry?
Perry: Well, why not.
Picard: Mr. Data. .... ENGAAAAAAAAAAAGE.
Then the ENTERPRISE stretched endlessly and then disappeared with a
flash into nothing, the GOOD HOPE jumped into hyperspace after short acceleration.
Both ships had set the same course headed to HOLE, the tunnel in the Federation
universe, which was still open near the Hundred-Sun-World. Nobody noticed
the small, nimble ship, which followed the ENTERPRISE and the GOOD HOPE
in the protection of a perfect anti-detection-field...
DURING THE FLIGHT ON 10 FORWARD...
Guinan: Well Bell, still a Cardassian Vurguzz?
Bell: Yes! Tastes Great! So fruity! How is the stuff manufactured?
Guinan: Do you really want to know that?
Bell: Yes, yes. Perhaps I will make myself a small reserve, when we go back to Terra.
Guinan: Well... the drink is made during the Cardassian
Feast of fertility. The oldest women of the city trample the Bola berry to sludge with unwashed feet in large barrels, a berry that only flourishes in animal shit. The pulp will then be excited by the woman to fermentation...
Bell? Why is he running away
Perry: Our friend is feeling bad...
Atlan stared at his glass: And what am I drinking here?
Guinan: That is a Ferengi cocktail... The Ferengi have...
Atlan: Stop! Those are the ones with the big ears?
I do not want to know what they did...
Perry smiled to Picard: For both of us a glass of Romulan Ale?
Picard: Good idea, Perry.
Perry: Our small adventure is coming to an end... Too bad, really.
Picard: Yes, it was very interesting.
But we have to fulfill our duty, to boldly go where no man... ah, I mean where never before has someone from our series gone.
Perry: We have also learned much from you. Let us drink to the success of our mission.
Picard: Agreed!
Perry: Cheers.
Picard's communicator suddenly beeped: Bridge to Captain, Lt. Worf Sir. Picard exchanged a quick look with Perry. Picard: Speak.
Worf: Sir, I have noticed for some time that a ship is pursuing us. It is camouflaged. According to the mass of the ship it could be a - BIRD OF PREY - !!!
Picard: I will come to the bridge immediately. Perry?
Perry: Let's go, Atlan!
ON THE BRIDGE...
Picard: Mr. Worf! Full energy to the phasers! Load the photon torpedoes. Yellow alert!
Perry, Bell and Atlan marveled, as the bridge crew became a well-oiled team within a second.
Picard: Mr. Crusher, how far is it to the HOLE?
Wesley: Well, considering the Strangeness factor...
Picard: How far!
Wesley: Ahhh, we are still a couple of flight minutes away from it.
Picard: Mr. Crusher! Reverse, full impulse!
The ENTERPRISE dropped into Normal space and behind it followed the unknown ship.
Worf: Sir, the foreign ship has dropped its disguise!
Picard: On the screen!... What is that?
Wesley: Wow!
Worf: Grrrr...
Riker: That is no - Bird of Prey -!
Data: That is correct. That is... what is that?
Perry: A Trident Ship!
Atlan: It is the TARFALA and on board is Paunaro, the Nakk!
The Nakk appeared suddenly on the bridge.
Speechless the bridge crew faced the snail-like being.
Perry: Paunaro! What a surprise! What brings you to us? The Nakk evidently had problems with his sight-speech-mask, because nobody could understand him...
Paunaro: I 5D you 4D. I blackbird, you worm....
Picard: What?
Data: I believe he wants to explain to us that he thinks in higher dimensions...
Atlan: Someone must adjust his sight-speech-mask, then we will understand him.
Picard: Mr.Data, that is technical. Can you do that?
Data went to the Nakk: I think that I can improve communication and adjust the sight-speech-mask of the Nakk. One moment please. Data touched the sight-speech-mask and worked on it.
After a long moment of silence the Nakk began to speak:
Paunaro: Hey people, what's going on here? Who is the fellow with the pointy ears? It's cool here! This ship is beautifully styled!
It certainly flies through hyperspace as if it were on rails Captain, doesn't it?
Picard: ...
Bell: I'm getting annoyed!
Perry to Data: Ahhh... Good work, Data. I fear the communication with Nakken was never as good as now. What exactly have you done with him?
Data: Ahh, I do not know... turned a little here, a little there...
Paunaro: No need to panic, stay cool! The slow snail also comes to the goal, as my father always said, Mister.
Perry: I believe he is talking 5D stuff again...
Atlan: It's incredible!
Paunaro: Hey, silver locks! You are looking quite well for your age! Hi Perry!
Perry: ...Ahh, hello! Paunaro, what brings you to us?
Paunaro: I just got an uncool job. What should I say, I think you can guess it, right?
Perry: ...no?
Paunaro: Oh Jesus! You are not very clever here on the 4D-plane.
Why did we Nakks stay here for thousands of years, eh?
You lazybones!
Picard: Lazybones...Number 1, any suggestions?
Riker: Captain, I am out of answers...
Pill: Captain, you are a Frenchman! What would you do with such a large snail?
Picard: DOCTOR McCOY!!!
Paunaro: I see you are to stupid to guess it.
We Nakks are looking for something... is it ringing now...?
Atlans extra brain: Well, fool? Does it ring? <bg>
Atlan: Paunaro, wait a moment! The last time you Nakks were active you were looking for IT !!!
Paunaro: Ha! 100 points for the Mr. with the blond wool! Too bad, only 1 point more and you would have won a weekend in a space-time-crease with a partner of your choice.
Atlan: I find this to be not at all funny! Snail!
Atlans extra brain: But I do so.. <laughter>
Perry: The Nakks are looking for IT?
Paunaro: Exactly! We felt with our 5D-senses that IT disappeared from our Universe! Therefore we are looking for him. Logical, isn't it?
Bell: Sounds clear...
Picard: Perry, these... beings are looking for your super intelligence?
Suddenly a hyperradio message came in and the Nakk disappeared from the Bridge.
Simultaneously the TARFALA began to accelerate towards the HOLE.
Picard: Answer the call!
It was Tolot of the GOOD HOPE II.
Tolot: Where have you been so long? The HOLE is losing its consistency.
It's starting to flicker. You must hurry!
Picard: Mr. Crusher! Engine room ready!
To Perry: We must say goodbye now. Unfortunately time is running short. Perry: Atlan, Bell, Pucky . Let's go! Pucky , bring us back to the GOOD HOPE II.
Atlan said goodbye quickly to Beverly, and Bell to waved Spock, then Pucky jumped with them to the GOOD-HOPE II.
Perry shook Picard's hand. The key figures of two large series looked each other once more in the eyes, then Pucky appeared and grasped Perry's hand.
Perry looked around once more on the bridge, said a fast goodbye, then jumped with Pucky.
- Plopp-
Picard: Mr. Crusher! Engage! The ENTERPRISE accelerated and rushed to the HOLE.
Shortly after she got in the passage closed behind her, just as if there had never been one.
BACK ON THE GOOD HOPE II...
Tolot: Hello my little child! We are back again!
Tolot lifted Perry.
Perry: Well, well, Tolotos!
Perry: Have you watched everything? Has the ENTERPRISE gone through
OK?
Tolot: Yes, it has flown through, right after the Trident ship.
Atlan: WHAT? THE MAD NAKK HAS GONE THROUGH, TOO?
Tolot: Yes, right before. I thought you knew...
Perry: Calm down!
Atlan: But something other makes me sad...
IT! He really was on the other side. Directly over DS9. With Wanderer!
Perry: You are right! Will there be no end?
Tolot: You mean Perry, that there is still more to come?
Perry felt the invigorating impulses of his cell activator.
Perry: I fear that we have no other choice...
- THE END? -
Copyright 1996 by Thomas Rabenstein
Webmasters John Foyt (rhodanenglish@netscape.net)
and Steve Taylor (steve-taylor@fsmail.net)